Famous last words for getting through life

One more shot of rye isn’t going to affect my driving.

(No doubt, you can find yourself in here somewhere.)

One more shot of rye isn’t going to affect my driving.

Just because the gauge reads empty, doesn’t mean that we are out of gas.

You can’t lose with this stock, the market will never crash.

I don’t need no damn doctor!

I’m going to ace this exam.

This river will never flood.

Duct tape will fix it for sure.

This painting has got to be worth a small fortune.

Nobody locks their doors around here.

You can never make a chilli too hot.

My computer doesn’t get viruses.

I am sure the government will take care of it.

Eating junk food won’t cause me to gain weight.

This pile of trash will never catch fire.

You won’t need an umbrella, there is no sign of rain.

Don’t worry, I am sure the judge will understand.

Take this pill, it will fix it.

These tires are good for at least another thousand miles.

Food always tastes better when left out overnight.

Belching over dinner is quite acceptable.

Getting rid of belly fat is easy.

Teenagers with raging hormones are quite controllable.

I never rely on the experts.

Swimming during an electrical storm is fun.

I never get sick.

I just don’t pay those parking tickets.

Giving out your credit card number on the phone is okay.

Trusting your intuition is for dummies.

I never use the save button on my computer.

Letting your bitch in heat out in the yard, won’t attract any male dogs.

Chances of winning the lottery are good, if you keep buying tickets.

I’m sure we can find it in all this clutter.

They won’t evict me just because I am four months behind in my rent.

You don’t have to turn the power off to fix that wall switch.

They’ll never fire me, I’m too valuable.

And the most famous of last words?

Oh she won’t mind.

Williams Lake Tribune

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