We are in the process of decorating the house for Christmas. So keeping in the true holiday spirit, Carmen and I managed to put the tree up and string the lights on it, without getting into a fist fight this year.
Mind you there are still the glass bulbs to put on. (I’ve only crushed one into the rug so far.) Putting the angel on top too, is always a supreme challenge.
Maybe we should have started off there first and worked down.
I had a real beauty of a spruce picked out for our tree this year, but our daughter-in-law showed up with an artificial one.
The kind where you pull a string and it all pops into place.
Not quite the same rural romantic notion of striding off into the woods and snow to cut one down. But a tree saved nevertheless.
My dog Skipper peed on it, thinking it was real. Now he’s banned from the living room. I have to admit, the fake one when finished, looked just grand, if not a blur of colour as it was slightly out of focus. I had misplaced my glasses. (Or was it the rum and eggnog?) In the end, all things appeared to be organized and in their rightful place.
In fact, I found that if you stand on your head in the corner, everything looks just rosy.
As we stepped back to admire our handiwork, Carmen had the audacity to say, “I think we have to push it back about a foot and a half and slightly to the left.” Oh Oh!
Time to call in the movers. Just when I thought our troubles were over, she announced, “Now we have to put up the tree for the table.”
Carrying on with the festive decor, the lighted reindeer I put outside, fell apart, but I dutifully put it back together with duct tape. (Thank God for Red Green.) It now has a strange patchwork glow about it.
And since it is my duty to wrap the presents this year, I plan to reduce my consumption of scotch tape from 30 rolls down to 25.
Keeping in mind, that I am against excessive consumerism and want to make a statement.
Figuring to put to use some sunflower seed butter which has sat in the fridge far too long, I combined it with cream cheese and called it Uncle Bob’s chip dip.
Carmen calls it the ‘one bite’ dip, that’s all it would take she cautions, to start one cruising the table looking for something else to put in their mouth and to stop clawing at their tongue with their fingernails, thereby ridding themselves of that cloying taste. (at least I should be lauded for my daring and initiative.)
Carmen also asked why I was being so nice to her, so I replied that I didn’t have anything better to do. (just kidding), I can be jolly, especially after frequent runs on the rum and eggnog. The great thing about decorating the house for Christmas is, Happy Hour starts earlier in the day, thereby keeping us in a jovial mood. (even if our actions are sometimes slowed down to a crawl after a time.)
However, getting caught up in too much merriment, I spilled hot chocolate on the fake snow covered mantle. Reindeer droppings.
Finally, Carmen, in a thrifty state of mind, stated; “You don’t have to buy me a Christmas present this year.”
Who’s she kidding? There are some things you don’t shirk on.
I thought about getting her some of that frankincense and myrrh, but unfortunately, the pharmacist at the drug store said they didn’t stock them.
Well, giving a gift after all, is bringing to loved ones, a token of your fondness for them, is it not?
That is the true spirit of Christmas.
For in the end, don’t we love the kindness, good cheer and camaraderie, this season opens up in us?
Merry Christmas and happy decorating.
Robert Nichol is a freelance columnist with the Tribune/Advisor.