It was the Christmas break of my Grade 11 year. I was walking down the middle of the street and I was probably a little drunk.
I turned to my friend and said, “I really wish there was no God.”
As the words left my mouth I knew I was in trouble. I was in trouble because I knew there was a God and ignoring what I knew to be true could not go good.
When I was younger I had seen some dramatic answers to prayer.
One that stood involved a teenage boy who had fallen four floors from a building under construction. His family was warned he would not likely make it through the night but the church prayed.
Then he was given a 50 per cent chance of survival but if he did he would be “a vegetable.” The church continued to pray until he recovered completely.
Another time a young lady was involved in a terrible car accident. Again, she was given almost no chance of surviving and again the church prayed until she was completely better.
Prayer didn’t always work that way but I was witness to enough stories like this that it had a profound impact. So trying to convince myself that God didn’t exist was a waste of time.
So I decided I needed to start living in a way that matched what I knew was real. I would love to say that from that point on I lived like I trusted God and followed the ways He teaches.
The truth is that I messed up more times than I care to admit. I have often struggled with doubts and with pride and selfishness. I’ve done wrong and have made messes and hurt people.
But I believe in the message that Jesus is the Son of God who died to take the punishment for my wrongs and that He was raised to life so that He lives to help me live in a new way.
So I live completely relying on His goodness and love. And the more I do that the more I discover joy and contentment.