Practice Positive: In the eye of the beholder

When someone pushes your buttons, it helps to change your own perspective, says Cloverdale Reporter columnist Dawn Carson.

Sometimes we come up against negativity that we aren’t able to easily get away from. Some people just drive us crazy or push our buttons. Some circumstances, like paying bills, feel awful no matter what we do. Most people choose to grumble and complain about these things. I’ve certainly been prone to do so from time to time. So what is the solution?

Perspective. It is something we have a lot of control over if we so choose. Surprised? Let me give you an example. I used to have a manager that really rubbed me the wrong way. I couldn’t understand why he was in his position. His management style was abrupt and learning from him was difficult at best. Shifts with him were stressful and frustrating.

I knew he was there to stay so I decided to see if I could figure out why he was hired. I didn’t ask my other managers, I asked myself. I started to look at him with eyes of wonder instead of judgement. I would watch his behaviour and mannerisms for clues. I really wanted to appreciate his strengths. I wanted to enjoy all of my shifts at my job, so I knew I had to learn how to enjoy working alongside this guy.

Within a couple of weeks I found myself asking his opinion on work-related tasks. I even started laughing at his funny comments. The simple act of my choosing to change how I saw him, made the situation completely shift from bad to great. He ended up being one of my favourite people to work with! I was sad when he left for a new opportunity.

When you find yourself in a situation that feels unbearable and unbeatable, change your perspective. Ask yourself, “How can I make this better?” When you take control of things and pour your energy into finding solutions, magic can happen. We so often play the blame game. It’s easy to whine and complain. It takes effort to find a way to thrive regardless of the circumstance.

The next time you feel like you want to scream in frustration, imagine the situation from the other side, or the other person’s perspective. Think of ways that you can change your behaviour that would produce more harmonious results.

A little effort can go a long way.

– Dawn Carson is an author and public speaker who lives in Cloverdale. Follow her on Twitter @Dawn_Carson

Cloverdale Reporter

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