For the first time in history most people are being asked to make their own decisions. Previously we lived under a hierarchical structure where a small group of religious and cultural leaders made decisions for us. In industry it was common for a small group of people to identify priorities and solutions and communicate these decisions to the rank and file to be acted on. Leadership was the responsibility of the few. Now we are being asked to share the responsibilities of leadership and to think for ourselves.

I remember the first time I was asked to think for myself in any significant way. It was in high school during Grade 11 English class. At the start of the semester our teacher, Mr. Edward Tell, outlined our requirements for the coming term. The final essay, he explained, would be one question — “What is man?” The entire course would be devoted to developing an answer to this broad philosophical question by reading various works of English literature that considered the human condition. Books like Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce, Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, and others were assigned reading. Each lecture was a series of questions — one more deep and penetrating than the last. Questions as — “Who is man? What is his purpose? What is life? What is good? What is evil? Who decides?”

I studious copied all of the questions into my notebook anticipating that at some point Mr. Tell would provide the answers for us to copy into our notebooks as well. Much to my dismay the questions continued. After weeks of relentless questioning without the offering of any answers I finally had had enough. I put up my hand. “Mr. Tell”, I asked, “When are you going to give us the answers to all these questions?” Mr. Tell laughed. It wasn’t his responsibility, he replied, to answer these questions. Rather, it was mine. Panic and fear washed over me. It was inconceivable that I should be the one to answer these questions. Up until that point in my life my role had been to take other people's answers, other people's direction and follow them as carefully and conscientiously as I could.

In hindsight I see how I had spent most of my life looking to others for the answers to life’s questions, looking outside of myself. My assumption was that others knew better than I did. My own ability to consider, reflect, discern, and decide was significantly impaired. My goal to be a “good person” meant following the dictates of others.

This shift from wisdom being externally determined to becoming internally determined is a shift that all of us are being asked to make. We are all being challenged to take responsibility for our life, for our choices, and for our actions. It is being demanded of us to share in the responsibility of sorting out life’s questions and challenges. While this responsibility may feel like a burden, in truth it is our liberation. When we finally embrace our capacity and our right to choose, we step into our freedom and power.

I am now of the understanding that the goal of all of us is to claim our power and to assume a leadership role in our lives. Only when we all come from a place of leadership and personal responsibility will we live rich and meaningful lives in harmony with one another. It is up to each of us to define what is important and to define our purpose in life. To declare who we are. Life is about answering the question, “Who am I?” “Who will I choose to be in this moment?” Life is a series of choices.

Healthy families, healthy organizations, and healthy communities are ones that encourage all members to accept their responsibility to choose and to act. To excel in this world we must embrace our responsibility for leadership, not over others, but over oneself. We are being offered an opportunity to enter a new reality — a reality of our choosing. As author Byron Katie says, “You are the one you’ve been waiting for.”

Ted Kuntz is a Coquitlam author and psychotherapist; his website is www.peacebeginswithme.ca.