For Monika Thoma, getting lost in a West German forest 28 years ago would find her a new friend, and a possible new lease on life.

Back in 1981, Monika and her new husband Egon were looking for their hotel, the Jaegerhof, in the village of Bildstock in Saarbruecken, Saarland. The German-speaking Canadian newlyweds were early in their vacation to visit family members, and were near the French-West German border.

As the evening wore on, they couldn’t find their hotel, a lodge situated in a forest. To further complicate things, there were other hotels in the area with “jaeger” in their names.

They were lost.

They took a chance and approached a group of four younger people coming out of a restaurant. Among them were Martina and Norbert Stachel.

The locals offered to lead the way by car to the hotel. With fresh navigational errors thrown into the mix, the group of six found the inn at 11 p.m., three hours after the quest began.

Grateful for the efforts of the young people, the guests offered to pay for the gas. It was refused. But they did accept the offer to come in for drinks, and if they wanted, an overnight stay.

Monika and Martina hit it off right away.

Conversation subjects ranged from life in Canada to reminiscences, on Monika’s part, of local foods (she immigrated to Canada in 1965 at the age of 17.)

Getting along well with the Stachels, Monika and Egon planned to meet them again the following day.

“They had a box of surprises for us,” recalls Thoma. “All the stuff that I missed – special sausages, special cheese, pretzels... what I didn’t have (in Canada) for years. They had it all in a box as a present.”

After spending more time together, the Thomas had to continue with their holiday plans, and vowed to write.

They kept their promise.

“At Christmas, I made little parcels and sent them... and got a parcel back (at the same time.) Each of us had the same idea, even without knowing the other did it.”

Over the years, the letters continued. So did the frequent visits to Germany and Canada. Laughter, family stories, christenings. Monika would become a godmother to three (now aged 12, 23 and 26.)

There was a flurry of phone calls when, a few years ago, Martina’s youngest was diagnosed with cancer (she’s now in remission) and when, at the about the same time, Egon had a stroke (he passed away in December 2007.)

The two families, separated by thousands of kilometres, were the best of friends.

• • •

A little while back, they hadn’t communicated for some time.

Martina phoned Canada.

“I am sick now,” 61-year-old Monika replied. “I just got the news I need a new kidney.”

It turned out medicine she took years ago for Crohn’s disease had caused high blood pressure and kidney damage. No relatives were a good match, and she was on a donor- waiting list. Renal dialysis was about to begin, and Monika despised needles.

Martina asked what blood type she was. O-positive.

The reply was instant.

“‘Oh,’ she said. ‘You’ve got no problem. I’ve got O-positive. You can have mine.’”

“I thought she was making fun of me,” Monika recalls.

“No, no, I mean it,” was the reply.

“You didn’t even think yet,” Monika admonished.

Martina replied: “I don’t need to think. I love you and can give you my kidney.”

Monika suggested that Martina talk to her family. They agreed with the idea.

But there were issues that Monika brought up. Martina has three kids, one of them potentially sick.

And doctors in Germany informed Martina that, in the event of a match that would make her eligible to donate a kidney, she, at 47, would have to make life-altering changes. She’d have to stop smoking – permanently – and would have to lose weight and keep it off to keep her own blood pressure low.

Monika and Martina discussed the long-term commitment.

“She wouldn’t give me just the kidney,” Monika explains. “She’d give me her life.”

There would be psychological evaluations long before medical compatibility tests.

She’d have to meet with Canadian doctors.

• • •

On Aug. 1, Martina and her daughter arrived on a three-week “testing vacation,” staying at Monika’s house in South Surrey.

Interrupted, at first, by four-hour-long dialysis sessions for Monika, the German-speaking friends went golfing and shopping and mingled at home with Monika’s aging dog Pasha and bilingual parrot Coco.

Aug. 5 was the first appointment at St. Paul’s Hospital.

At this preliminary question-and-answer session, Monika acted as translator.

Would Martina lose weight? Would she stop smoking? How serious was she about donating a kidney, putting her own health at risk?

“They took her,” says a now-hopeful Monika.

That was the go-ahead for more testing over the following two weeks – an electrocardiogram, X-rays, ultrasonography and various forms of blood work, before her flight back to Germany on Aug. 23.

“The rest (of the testing), she has to do in Germany.”

If the tests show compatibility – results of each test could take weeks or possibly months – the surgery might take place next year in Vancouver.

Monika says the process is one-quarter towards its goal.

“The main thing is they accepted her.”

B.C. kidney disease stats:

• 145,000 are estimated to have undiagnosed kidney disease.

• 2,554 are on dialysis.

• In 2008, 167 kidney transplants were done – 80 of them from living donors.

• Number of patients on the waiting list: 238 (April 2009).

• The average wait for a transplant: Five years.

Source: Kidney Foundation of Canada/BC Renal Agency/BC Transplant Society.

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