Digging into a good roast is always grand and last Thursday was the ideal feast. The main course was Rich Chambers.

The fiery, pint-sized, ever-venting Terry Fox Ravens basketball coach –– the over-caffeinated Woody Allen of high school hoops, so to speak –– was the target of many verbal three-point bombs to help raise money for the heralded hardwood program via Richie’s Roast in the school library, helping off-set recent government sports funding cuts.

Chambers, 59, coached the Centennial Centaurs senior boys team for 20 years before shifting to Fox and co-coaching there the last 17 years, mostly along side Don Van Os. The pair guided the Ravens to back-to-back B.C. AAA provincial championships in 1993 and ’94.

Despite his assertion to the contrary, Chambers may well now be considering retirement, given that his countless time and tribulations in the game were quickly shoved to the sidelines as friends, ex-players and colleagues took turns taking technical fouls at his expense.

Team 1040 Radio sportscaster Barry Macdonald MC’d the bash, immediately referring to the five-foot-zip Chambers as ‘Little Dick to refs” and “the appetizer” of the banquet, which was attended by 130 persons. Former Fox standout player Aaron Mitchell joined in the jab-fest later, likening Chambers’ squelching bench voice to “Elmer Fudd on crack.”

“Despite the rumours, proceeds are not going to Gleneagle,” chided Macdonald, whose son, Bret, is set to play his upcoming Grade 11 season at Fox under the tutelage of Chambers and co-coach Mike Hind.

In reference to his longevity in the prep ranks, Macdonald offered: “I’m amazed at how many grandparents I run into who say Rich was the best teacher they ever had.”

While alluding to Chambers’ much talked about impatience when awaiting an answer, Fox athletic director Rhonda Trunkfield marvelled: “How many coaches phone their a.d.’s from the bathtub, and how many of us even get to hear the toilet flush?”

Van Os couldn’t resist carving into his ol’ bench buddy like he would a 10-pound slab of rare beef. Regarding a previous pledge by Chambers to retire, Van Os said: “He didn’t retire. He’s been a counsellor since 1993. Is that retirement?”

Then, on Chambers’ persistent need to communicate with the officials, Van Os recalled: “One time we were playing Port Moody, we were up by 62, and he was still yapping at the refs.”

Another long-time Chambers’ colleague, Bruce Kiloh, got in on the act, touching on his friend’s quirky personal and professional traits.

“Is there anybody who can eat as poorly as Rich and still maintain the body of a 14-year-old girl?” Kiloh kidded, adding: “Rich is a great coach. He once said Jamall Lee [now with the CFL’s B.C. Lions] is a weak, unmotivated player who will never amount to anything.”

Former Canadian national team coaching guru Ken Shields showed up in a classy tuxedo, only to verbally undress Chambers. Shields first took a shot a the unassuming Macdonald. “I heard we were going to have a big-time MC and we end up with a radio guy,” Shields ribbed. “And for 40 bucks? Geesh...”

Chambers enjoyed the verbal-dart deflection, siding with Shields that “Neil Macrae would have been a better choice.”

Shields then summed it up, referring to Chambers’ apparent immodest side.

“What can you say about Rich Chambers that he hasn’t already said about himself?”

Actually, everybody else pretty much said it all for Chambers –– and more –– in one hilarious night.