Sports

Trades I’d make in a minute...

By the time today’s paper is delivered, Evander Kane could be playing for the Vancouver Canucks, Sam Gagner could be anywhere but Edmonton and Ryan Miller could be with anybody needing a world-class goalie.

You see, the BCHL and WHL trade deadlines were Friday and the NHL date is March 5, one week after Canada strikes gold in Sochi.

As you know, TSN offers a 77-hour special on trades with very little activity to talk about most years. The panels on TV have already begun throwing trade ideas out there.

Looking back at the Wayne Gretzky trade in August, 1988, the Oilers sent No. 99, Mike Krushelnyski and Marty McSorley to L.A. in exchange for Jimmy Carson, Marty Gelinas and three first-round draft picks. And $20 million.

The draft choices turned into Jason Soules, a major bust, Tyler Wright and Jason Arnott.

Wright, who calls Vernon home, was later traded to Pittsburgh for a seventh-rounder by the name of Brandon Lafrance.

Arnott went to the Devils with Bryan Muir for Bill Guerin and Valeri Zelepukin. Guerin was later dealt to Boston for Anson Carter and a first-rounder pick named Ales Hemsky, while Carter was then traded to the Rangers for Radek Dvorak.

It may take a few hours to dissect that deal, but getting Gretzky surely makes the Kings a slam-dunk winner.

Anyways, just for kicks, here are some trades I’d make in a New York minute...

- The Super Bowl for the World Series.

- Dogs for cats.

- A high-five for a handshake.

- Algebra for English.

- An eagle for a hole-in-one.

- Quiche for bacon cheeseburger pizza.

- Stephen Curry and Julius Peppers for Ray Rice.

- Dwight King for Prince Fielder.

- Sheryl Crow for Jennifer Crowe.

- Chris Cuthbert for Elisha Cuthbert.

- Tony Parker for Jeff Parker.

- Brandon Flowers for Derrick Rose.

- The Bad News Bears for the Mighty Ducks.

- John and Bob Shannon for Ross Shannon

- Revels for Creamsicles.

- Potato skins for edamame beans.

- Call of Duty for Stratomatic Baseball.

- February for September.

- Monday for Saturday.

- Buddy Knox for Roger Knox.

- Reeces Pieces for Smarties.

- Darin Mundy for Jeff Saturday and Rick Monday.

- James Garner for Jennifer Garner.

- Paris Hilton for Brooklyn Decker.

- Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien and David Letterman for Jimmy Fallon.

- Posh Spice for Sophie Horn.

- Matt Holliday for Roy Halladay.

- Mike Fisher for Carrie Underwood.

- Agnieszka Radwanska for Victoria Azarenka.

- RG Griffin III and King Henry the Eighth for Davis Love III.

- Lance Armstrong for Jim Armstrong and the Spallumcheen General Store.

- Lolo Jones for Connor and Kellen Jones.

- Brandon Belt for Usain Bolt.

- Rod Faust, Bernie Smithson and Andy Gilbert for Cal Halasz.

- Linda Lovelace for Ben Lovejoy.

- Grey’s Anatomy for Person of Interest.

- Doc Rivers and Justin Timberlake for Kate Hudson.

- Coco Crisp for Paul Coffey.

- Dwayne Bowe for Hunter Pence.

- Home run hitting contests for slamdunk contests.

- Housewives of Coldstream for Sons of Anarchy.

- Troy Mick, Sandy Moger and futures for Logan Mick and Cameron Moger.

- Mike Green for Mason Blacklock

- Referees for umpires.

- Montana for Arizona.

- Judas Priest for Hunter Bishop.

- Mike Trout for Roger Scales.

- Gilbert Arenas for Stanley Park.

- Rollie Fingers for Jonathan Toews.

- Three McDonald’s franchises for Connor McDavid.

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