Michael Jackson is 2009's global warming. Everywhere you look, he's all you see: "Billie Jean" has replaced public service announcements on climate change; we may yet see the price at the pumps go up for a provincial "Jackson Tax" to increase on an annual babsis for every year that he stays dead (you know fans are hoping he comes back a la "Thriller"-style).

In the past few weeks he has eclipsed Canadian soldiers' deaths, the hostilities in Iran and the G8 summit. Hour-long network coverage of his memorial service was offered on television stations while play-by-play blog and Twitter feeds told cyber fans what was going down.

I did not follow the circus in real time, but from what I can tell from the zillions of articles, TV specials and photos that followed, it looked more like a gathering of celebrities trying to one-up each other than a time to reflect and mourn the single-gloved singer.

Still photos show performers, wide-mouthed and gazing to the heavens, belting out tunes in their Academy Award-worthy outfits. Reality TV stars saw the event as a chance to be seen, the Kardashians sitting together in matching black dresses, sending sultry smiles to the cameras and showing more collective leg than a bus load of giraffes.

The Jackson family was there, of course, but so were some you wouldn't expect if you didn't follow MJ's crazy saga: I had no idea Brooke Shields and Michael were so close; and Queen Latifa? She has friends?

Eighties child star Corey Feldman DRESSED as the iconic character during the ceremony; now THAT is weird.

On a strange tangent, Feldman was once "very close" with Michael as a teen. — but I'm not going to go there.

The event seemed more like a chance for B-List stars to take a desperate grab for the spotlight than a memorial, but that's just par for the course for Jackson — he received a sendoff that mirrored his life: weird.