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AT RANDOM: Just a big kid
Growing up we yearned for it – the independence, the control, the free decision-making of being an adult – but it’s funny how as we age, we often wish we could just be a kid again.
Oh how wonderful it would be to just wake up on a Saturday morning and watch cartoons, instead of tending to the endless housework and errands that need doing.
Lately, I want nothing more than to just curl up into my mother’s lap and snuggle with her.
But for me, that longing belongs to the fact that I can’t do that. I can never again breathe in the scent of mom, see her smiling face, taste her home-cooking or feel her soft touch.
That’s because my mom passed away just a little more than two months ago, taken far too soon at just 60 years old.
Like many who have lost a mother, selfish feelings can overcome us, like that of a toddler wanting to scream out or cry, because our mommy is gone. How unfair it is to no longer have the woman who guided us, protected us and taught us so much?
Who will be there to offer their non-judgemental advice during times of turmoil, as she once did?
Losing a mother can leave you feeling lost, and it’s not an easy road to travel down. One would think that after two months I may have found some peace, but at times it seems the threads of life are starting to untangle even more. And the roller coaster will only continue.
So as I look back on all my own mother was, I often recall her as just a big kid. So happy, optimistic and always full of positive energy. Perhaps it’s age and experience that gave her that, but lately I’ve been thinking, why not be a kid again?
Of course I’ll still have to tend to the adult responsibilities, but when there’s time, why don’t I watch cartoons on a Saturday morning with my daughter?
And why should it stop there?
If you’ve ever really stopped to watch a child, biting your tongue against all the nagging, you’ll see that kids are so innocent and full of love. They freely hug each other, make special pictures and cards for people, never judge one another or talk behind each other’s backs. The only upset comes when someone doesn’t get their turn, or doesn’t win.
Being adults, we’ve learned to share and take turns, and we know that it’s not about winning, but enjoying the game. So why can’t we love like children do? What happened over the years that killed a lot of our caring nature and has driven us away from our child-like ways?
Why can’t we all just be big kids, with really big hearts?
I think that does happen when someone passes away. People bond together with love, disregarding their own selfish ways.
It shows that if there’s any good that can come from such a loss, it’s having so many come together, dropping their busy lives to show they care (I sure felt it – so much care and kindness from friends, family, co-workers, even some complete strangers).
They say a little kindness goes a long way, and it sure does. Because thanks to all that love from others, I’ve managed well through those tough first couple of months. And even recently, when I’ve been feeling a little down, I know that all I have to do is reach out and someone is there to hold my hand.
So thank you to all!
There’s nothing more uplifting for a person than feeling the love of others. Enough to make you feel like a kid again!