Franken-flu

The very idea that such a gruesome creature could be created and could lurk around town is chilling enough, but what made the original so terrifying was something far more sinister. The unknown.

Mary Shelley first wrote the story, it is said, after having a disturbing dream. She then began to remove herself from the story in stages. The narrator tells about her cousin who is sending messages to her. Her cousin writes to her about a man he met on a journey. Finally, the man tells her cousin about his experience of reanimating the dead but won’t give details because he feels that no human should possess such knowledge.

To put it in a 1980s, brat-pack context, it is the 1818 equivalent of the girl in Ferris Beuller’s class who tells her teacher that her “best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavours last night.”

Today, the story may be different, but its formula hasn’t changed much. The fear of the unknown is simply finding its laboratory in a completely new place and with new motivations.

Last week, the news reported that Calgary flu clinics were shutting down because they had run out of the vaccine. Families from Ontario were lining up for hours for their chance to receive the life-saving elixir despite the fact that this flu is actually far less virulent than previous strains. In Mexico, for example, when H1N1 was first reported as beginning to spread, fewer than 100 people died. This in a place where the normal seasonal flu would have claimed thousands.

And when danger rears its ugly head, who is there to fight for justice and truth but, BA da da DA, the conspiracy theorists? Some claim that the federal government has lied to us all and there will not be enough vaccine to go around. Others are going even further to say that both Donald Rumsfeld and Barack Obama, amongst others, have controlling interests in F. Hoffmann-La Roche, Ltd., the company that makes Tamiflu.

For a moment, we may want to step back and consider that, despite a lot of people saying it in the media, the big green monster may not exist. Or at least, he may be a lot more harmless than originally believed. Yes, the H1N1 strain of flu is out there. Yes, people have died from it. But is it reason to worry? No.

Even a modern-day Prometheus would tell us that some things are best approached calmly. Wash your hands. Get your flu shot when your turn comes. And don’t let your imagination get the better of you.

– Dave Lazzarino-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

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