Inspired by Matthew

Something went wrong during the delivery.

Matthew Froese, who was healthy and thriving for nine months in his mother’s womb, was deprived of oxygen for many minutes. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, and it might have been too tight.

He suffered severe brain damage.

His parents, Andrea and Doug, could have fought to determine whether anyone was at fault, but it would have cost them much stress and enormous legal fees.

Instead, they chose to invest their energies in raising their son – and two younger children – and pursuing their vision. The Froeses have a dream to provide a place that can help parents get a much-needed break from the challenges of raising a child with severe disabilities.

They are calling it Matthew’s House after their now nine-year-old son. They don’t yet have a facility or any programs in place, but the concept is part of the Campus of Care project that also includes Canuck Place Children’s Hospice and the Abbotsford Hospice Society.

Matthew’s House will focus on respite services, similar to those already offered at Canuck Place, but longer than its 20 days per year limit.

Andrea said the hope is to enable kids to spend one week a month in a cozy, home-like environment.

“We want every family to feel really comfortable there ... We want that feeling like people are just coming over.”

The Froeses can relate to the burdens placed on families who have a child with severe disabilities.

Matthew’s first few years were particularly challenging as the couple struggled with how to ease his discomfort. He could not straighten his arms, and his hips were dislocated. He could not properly digest his food, and vomited numerous times a day. Matthew also experienced up to 100 seizures a day and cried incessantly.

“We spent a lot of money on earplugs,” Doug laughed.

The couple tried everything they could. They would rock their baby in his car seat and put hot water bottles in his bed before they laid him down.

They turned to alternative health treatments, such as “conductive education” and naturopathy.

There was little relief. It was difficult to leave Matthew with family or friends because of his special needs – including being confined to a wheelchair – and there was minimal government funding to cover a professional caregiver.

Some of Matthew’s discomfort was alleviated at the age of three, when tube-feeding became his primary nutrition source. But it wasn’t until about a year later that even more significant changes occurred.

This was when the Froeses were referred to Canuck Place in Vancouver for symptom management. They were able to stay on-site with Matthew while his medication regimen was assessed in order to find the best combination for pain and seizure relief.

It took about two years, but the situation became much better. The couple was initially concerned about giving Matthew too many drugs, but they adapted their thinking.

“I think we got to the place that quality of life is more important than quantity,” Andrea said.

The couple also received some respite services, which allowed them to spend more time together as a couple, as well as with their two other children – Mya, now 6, and Hudsen, 5.

These days, Matthew still has numerous challenges, including vision impairment and the inability to speak, but his personality shines through. He especially loves watching cartoons, and produces his own unique laugh when he finds something funny.

“The dumber and louder, the better. He seems to think SpongeBob SquarePants is funny,” Andrea said.

He is also fond of rock music, shunning the classical tunes that Andrea used to play for him to create a calm, soothing environment.

Matthew, who attends Grade 4 at Mountain Elementary, is adored by those who know him, Andrea said..

“A lot of people I know say he’s a gentle soul – that he’s quiet and sweet. I’d say he’s a really nice kid.”

The Froeses look forward to meeting more “Matthews” in their future.

PARENTS HAD VISION

Andrea and Doug Froese have wanted for many years to offer additional support services to families who have children with severe disabilities.

Their dream is now turning to reality, with the inclusion of Matthew’s House in the Campus of Care project to be built on land adjacent to Abbotsford Regional Hospital. The multi-million-dollar project also includes Canuck Place Children’s Hospice (for kids up to 19 years old) and the Abbotsford Hospice Society (for 19 and older).

The Froeses began talking with Canuck Place staff a couple of years ago, suggesting some kind of partnership in the Fraser Valley to offer respite services that went beyond what was already provided. They wanted to call it Matthew’s House, after their nine-year-old son.

At that time, they were thinking about using their own rural Abbotsford property, but that was ruled out because it’s too far away from the local hospital.

Meanwhile, Canuck Place was thinking of building a second facility, and determined the Fraser Valley was the most-needed location.

Doug works at Vedder Transport, and a co-worker, Ken Voth, knew of an available property that would be ideal for both programs. The Abbotsford Hospice Society was an ideal fit to be included.

Talks ensued with the City of Abbotsford, and the property at 32766 Marshall Rd. was approved for the project. It will be leased to the agencies for 99 years, at $10 a year.

Matthew’s House will be operated by Communitas Supportive Care Society (formerly the Mennonite Central Committee), and there is a committee.

They plan to raise $2 million to build a 4,000-square-foot facility that will initially have room for five kids at a time, expanding to eight. They hope to start building within the next year.

Conceptual plans have yet to be produced, but the Froeses have a vision for what they want.

“We want it to be charming. We’re not looking for the coolest place on the block,” Andrea said.

A few fundraisers are already planned, including an “Imagine Kids” book of photos being produced by Revival Arts, an outdoor dinner in the fall, and the raffling of a 1965 Mustang.

For more information about any of the projects or to get involved with Matthew’s House, call Communitas at 604-850-6608 or visit mattshouse.ca.