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Where’s baby sasquatch, wonders comedian Ron James
A long Ontario winter, a snowy spring and a cancelled show can’t keep Ron James down.
No sir, the 1.61-kilometre-a-minute comic has been going full-speed since CBC-TV axed The Ron James Show in the middle of its fifth season.
Nevertheless, armed with a load of new material, James hit the road and did 22 straight stand-up shows across snowy Ontario while white-knuckling it on the roads through four blizzards.
Thankfully, he’ll soon be on the other side of the Rockies and will return to Campbell River’s Tidemark Theatre to present the new show “Take No Prisoners.” And James isn’t taking prisoners, because it could be a long time before he’s back on tour.
“I’ve been hitting it pretty hard,” he says from his home in Toronto. “Fifteen years on the road, six national specials and five years on TV, it’s time to take a break. I’m not sure when you’ll see me next.”
Question: Word on the street is you swiped the Peter Puck costume after CBC cancelled your show. True?
Ron James: Very funny, ha-ha. It’s not a costume I’d be swiping. I do have a new year’s special so I’m not off yet. I thought we had a good five-year run with the show, but we were bounced around more than an albino foster child.
Q. Please complete this sentence: As Senator for life, I would…
Q. If you’re weren’t a comedian, what would you be?
R.J.: A writer I guess. Hmm, I am writer…a Canadian astronaut, that’s funny.
Q. First thing that comes to mind when I say, “fracking?”
R.J.: Exploding taps.
Q. Is spring a myth in Southern Ontario?
R.J.: This year it definitely is.
Q. Who’s worse: Quebec separatists or smug B.C.ers?
R.J.: Geez that’s a tough one…Quebec separatists; at least British Columbians are speaking your own language.
Q. What will we find in the back of your fridge?
R.J.: Old cheese with legs and a loaf of
Q. You have an iPhone, Android and Blackberry, which one do you drop in the saltchuck first?
R.J.: Geez, that’s an easy one. Is this the slow class I’m taking for multiple choice questions? The Blackberry for sure. That stock has nose-dived faster than a kamikaze pilot with a rabid ferret in his pants.
Q. Last question, and this is something everyone wants to know, does sasquatch exist?
R.J.: Hmm, yes, and he’s running Toronto. Geez, every time Rob Ford walks out the front door I have 10 minutes of new material. Hey, I have a question, how come we always see grown sasquatch and never baby sasquatch? Never! All we ever see is sasquatch walking around in the afternoon looking like a hillbilly in a hair suit. And you know why? Because it IS a hillbilly in hair suit! I want a sasquatch suit.
- Ron James performs at the Tidemark Theatre on Wednesday, May 7, 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $53 available at the box office or by calling 250-287-7465. This is a licensed event and patrons must be 19 years of age and older.