Rock ’n golf?

Cool’s out for ever!

Alice Cooper has made it official.

The original shock rocker has written a book.

No, it’s not about how to kill small animals with your hands.

No, it’s not about how to cook said animals so you don’t get salmonella.

And no, it’s not a guide to wearing make-up for men.

Alice Cooper, Golf Monster: A Rock ‘n’ Rollers 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict is a combined autobiography/golf manual.

Other than the fact, that Cooper is said to have played up to 32 holes a day to keep himself from drinking 32 bottles of beer a day — I don’t see the connection.

But just because it isn’t obvious doesn’t mean it’s not there.

The book has a 4.5-star (out of five) rating on Amazon.com and critics are admitting it’s a good read.

Co-written with Keith and Kent Zimmerman, who also co-authored Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten’s memoir, Alice Cooper, Golf Monster is scoring big time.

“All I expected and more” and “Hard to put this one down,” seem to be the sentiment of most fans of the book.

But for fans of the music, the reviews are mixed.

“For whom was this book written? Rock fans? Golf nuts? Recovering alcoholics?” wondered one.

“First, I’m an old-school Cooper fan — it was a band, not a person. Second, I don’t like golf; I think it’s nearly as boring as Zipper Catches Skin,” lamented another.

A born-again Christian, Cooper, who has been known to incorporate corporal punishment in his stage act, is bringing his latest gig, The Psycho-Drama Tour, to Kamloops.

On Sept. 21, Cooper will perform at Interior Savings Centre just in time to promote his latest album, Along Came a Spider (expected to be released this summer) — and, possibly, to make the end of golf season in the Tournament Capital.

Talking Rock golf course general manager Trevor Smith hopes Cooper will stop by the course, which opens April 18 and is located on the shores of Little Shuswap Lake.

Smith, who met Cooper a couple of years ago while golfing at the Salmon Arm Golf Course, said the rocker is quite the golfer.

“He loves to play golf and he’s an interesting guy,” said Smith, noting Cooper dresses like a regular fairway player.

“And he’s a good golfer. He’s probably a three or four handicap.”

On the other side of Kamloops at Tobiano (which opens April 11), manager of golf operations and sales Jen Barter had no idea Cooper kicked it on the greens.

“That’s the last thing I would see him doing,” she said, surprised.

“But I think it’s fantastic — that’s really cool.”

Tickets to The Psycho-Drama Tour are available from Ticketmaster online at www.ticketmaster.ca, or by calling 374-9200.