Every day is torture.

As Sarah walks down the hallways of her school, she can feel the judgmental eyes boring into her.

She tries to hide behind the pageboy cap pulled down low over her eyes, tries to slouch into her shoulders to become invisible, if that's even possible.

But of course it doesn't work.

She hears the taunts coming, razor-sharp.

"Eeww, lesbian ... go home dike ... queer."

She feels like an outcast, shamed by her parents and her peers, since she told them six months ago about her homosexuality.

Even though they all know she's a lesbian, so fragile is her outcast state that she doesn't want her real name used in this article for fear of igniting further indignities, more homophobic slurs and taunts.

She looks to her school officials for help – but the Chilliwack school district does not have the wording in place to specifically protect teens like her, who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, or those who are perceived to be so.

The school counselor hopes Sarah doesn't become yet another statistic.

The school district's code of conduct is currently broad in nature, ensuring all staff and students a working and learning environment that is free from harassment and bullying. It was intentionally made to be broad to encompass all groups and all behaviours.

But by not specifically addressing gay students, the policy is rife with loopholes, said Sardis secondary school counselor Vic Gladish.

These kids are still being harassed, bullied, living in fear for their safety.

"As long as [homosexuality] continues to be something that is not spoken of, it will continue to be a problem," said Gladish.

The British Columbia Teachers' Federation is urging all school districts to change their codes of conduct to better protect these students.

However, at a recent Chilliwack school board meeting, where the Chilliwack Teachers' Association led the charge for Chilliwack to change its policy, student representatives left the meeting feeling, once again, let down.

Not one trustee commented, even after hearing several accounts of what it's like for Chilliwack students to wander the halls of their schools with gay, lesbian and bisexual labels.

Gladish hopes their silence isn't reflective of an all too common Chilliwack attitude towards people with differing sexual orientations:

Out of sight. Out of mind.

"There's a belief that if [homosexuality is] discussed, it'll encourage more kids to become gay, which is just ridiculous," said Gladish. "I don't know what the fear is, why we have to tiptoe around it ... it's not an abomination, it's just part of the human spectrum."

According to an adolescent health survey, conducted by the McCreary Centre Society – a non-profit Vancouver-based organization concerned with the health and welfare of young people in B.C. – 40 per cent of gay and lesbian youth have dramatically low self esteem; 37 per cent feel like outsiders at school; nearly one in five have been physically assaulted at school; and 46 per cent have attempted suicide at least once.

"These kids are suffering because of homophobia," said Gladish.

Gay students compare their experience in Chilliwack to the wide-open hatred shown to African Americans in the segregated South of the 1950s.

They've been called faggots, queers, dikes.

They've been spat on, punched, and had rocks thrown at them.

Just like American blacks in the 50s, they've been forced to become 'invisible' or to hide behind a mask of heterosexuality for fear of what the truth might lead to.

Sarah sees straight couples holding hands in the hallway, gazing wantonly into each others eyes. She listens to her own sister gush about boyfriends, but won't dare to do the same about girlfriends.

She's not allowed a girlfriend, she said, her voice meek, her eyes downcast.

A girlfriend is forbidden – by her parents and her peers.

For a lot of these students the only support they get is through the Diversity Club, a once-a-week gay-straight alliance club that is student-led and supported by Gladish.

Every week 18 to 20 students regularly meet for support.

Grade 12 student Robert Johnston was perceived to be gay all through middle school, because of his smaller stature and effeminate voice that hadn't yet been changed by puberty.

He was never picked for school sports, nobody wanted to be his partner for classroom assignments, and on field trips, "no one wanted to share a room with me because they thought I was going to rape them," he said.

"This stuff ruins lives," said Johnston. "People are getting picked on all the time because our society is so scared of gay people ... if you don't fit the cosmopolitan standard, you're considered worthless.

"It's disgusting."

Grade 10 student Bryton Larden hid his bisexuality for four years because of Chilliwack's nonacceptance of homosexuality.

"I wasn't comfortable with myself," said Larden, who came out earlier this year. "When I'd hear all these homophobic remarks, jokes and slurs, I just felt like I should keep it to myself."

The Diversity Club has helped Larden accept himself.

He hopes his peers, his school officials, and his community as a whole can one day do the same.

Chilliwack's board of education is being requested to consider a motion, at tonight's [Tuesday's] board meeting, to develop a new policy that will address the specific safety concerns of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, transgender and questioning students.

If the motion is passed, community input will be sought.

kbartel@theprogress.com