Dealing with grief and loss
Tombstones mark the graves of loved ones at Pineridge cemetery in Merritt.
Email
Print
Letter to Editor
Share
Recognizing loved ones we and others have lost is important, according to the B.C. Bereavement society.
Nov. 14 is B.C. Bereavement Day, and the Merritt and District Hospice Society is hoping that residents will take the day to acknowledge personal loss and the losses of others.
Bereavement Day was declared by the Province of B.C. in 1998.
“Grief is an important process in healing from loss. Everyone at some point will experience grief, each of us in our own unique way,” said Merritt and District Hospice Society president Jill Sanford.
“Today’s culture tends to ‘move on’ and does not allow for the time and expressions of grief we were allowed in the past. In general, our society is uncomfortable with grieving, making it difficult for those who have suffered a loss to heal in a healthy way. BC Bereavement Day is designed to help acknowledge that grieving is normal and is diminished when shared.”
The Merritt and District Hospice Society has been in existence for 25 years. Sanford explained that in today’s world there is less time set aside for dealing with loss.
“People used to wear a black arm band, and wear black,” said Sanford. “There used to be a definite mourning period for a year.”
B.C. Bereavement has begun offering black pins to those who are in mourning, similar to traditions of the past.
The Merritt and District Hospice Society also helps with palliative care - the consolation of people with terminal illnesses.
“We deal with helping people with the end of life as well,” said Sanford.
As much as we try to deny grief, it is inescapable, said Sanford. “Grieving is a part of life. Death is a part of life.”
“Although everybody has a different way of grieving, you need to recognize the loss in your life.”
Otherwise, the grief will come out in other ways, said Sanford. People often hide their feelings in public. The loss stays with us. “In some ways you’ll always have that little bit of grief in your heart.”
The Merritt and District Hospice Society reaches out to community through a number of events each year, such as the ‘Celebrate a Life Tree.’ The hospice society places a tree at Extra Foods during the holiday season and residents can hang a memory of a loved one on the tree.
The society has nine active volunteers who are currently all women.
“We’re all volunteers. We don’t have a big budget. We can’t really afford a lot of advertising,” said Sanford.
Volunteers are careful to be sensitive to the needs of the people they help, but are not permitted to preach or recruit people for a specific religious community.
However, Sanford acknowledges that a certain mentality is important in the work of the society.
“You can’t be a hospice volunteer without a certain degree of spirituality,” she said.
The Merritt Hospice office is located in downtown Merritt. They offer a number of programs as well as literature for those who want it.
v2
