Rape.

It’s a word akin to a racial slur.

It is downplayed, disbelieved and joked about (“rape is just accidental sex”).

But if you look at the women around you, it’s probable that a good number of them have experienced at least one incident of sexual assault.

According to Women Against Violence Against Women (WAVAW), a support organization based out of Vancouver, statistics show one in four Canadian women will be sexually assaulted during her lifetime.

So why are people so inclined to dismiss rape when it occurs?

There are a number of factors people look at when a report is made, instead of taking the incident at face value.

She’s making it up.

“Women rarely make false reports about sexual assault,” says WAVAW. “Only six per cent of sexual assaults are reported to the police. As well, false accusations of rape happen no more often than false reports of other types of crime: about two to four per cent, which means 96 to 98 per cent of the reports are true.”

She asked for it by the way she dressed, flirted, etc.

WAVAW’s response: “Any woman of any age and physical type, in almost any situation can be sexually assaulted. Women from two months old to 90 years old have been sexually assaulted.”

She knows him.

“Legally, women have the right to say no to any form of sex with anyone, including their spouse or the person they are dating. Sexual assault within relationships has been illegal in Canada since 1983; however, many people still do not recognize it as a crime. Even within a relationship, each partner must give consent each time sexual relations occur.”

WAVAW says over 80 per cent of sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.

The old adage is true: No means no.

The Canadian Federation of Students started a campaign with that slogan, No Means No, over ten years ago.

In high school we had posters adorning many of the hallway walls that read: I’m drunk means no. You’re drunk means no. I’m tired means no. Don’t touch me means no.

Rape is an act of violence and a crime of opportunity, preying on those momentarily vulnerable.

It is not just a man in the bushes waiting for a lonely gal to walk by, then following through with a violent assault. It can be a guy at a bar feeding drinks to a naïve young girl; it can be a schoolmate pressuring a girl to do things she’s not ready to do.

The sad truth about sex assaults is that the majority of them go unreported, largely for fear of embarassment or safety — or for the fear that no one will listen or believe.

And even though the physical pain may subside, the emotional scars may never leave an abused woman.

If demanding rape survivors

be given support and respect

makes me some extreme feminist, then so be it. But the act of being sexually assaulted is bad enough — don’t cause further pain with blame.

The 100 Mile and District's Women's Centre Society has confidential support programs and counsellors available. Contact the centre at 250-395-4093.