Candles lit in memory of beloved family members
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Updated: November 25, 2009 11:15 AM
There will be a very special, very personal candle-lighting service, starting at 2 p.m., at the 100 Mile House United Church on Dec. 6.
The service is sponsored by The Compassionate Friends, and parents, siblings and other family members are invited to light a candle in memory of their loved ones who have passed away.
Andrea Martin, The Compassionate Friends volunteer organizer, knows the pain of losing a child all too well.
The family’s six-year-old daughter, Gianna Noel, was killed by a drunk driver 26 years
ago after she got off the school bus in 100 Mile House. Their older daughter, Lia, was 26 when she committed suicide 12 years ago.
Martin says she really can’t describe what it’s like to lose a child.
“It is so difficult for bereaved parents directly after the death of a child. It feels like the end of your world and it feels like it will never be any different.”
Martin says the grieving process takes much longer than expected to get to the point where you can even contemplate breathing again, and that’s where The Compassionate Friends comes in.
The group meets the second Wednesday of every month at BJ’s Donuts & Eatery on Birch Avenue.
Martin says it’s a supportive environment because everyone there has coped with everything a newly bereaved parent goes through.
It can take a good while for a bereaved parent to get to the point to walk through the door and come to a support group, she adds.
“Every step in the grieving process is difficult and going to a support group can be just as difficult.”
Sometimes people find a support group is not the best for them, Martin says, adding she will meet with them on a one-to-one basis if it makes them more comfortable.
It’s difficult for bereaved parents to get through all the special holidays in a year and Christmas is tough for a lot of people who have lost a child, she says, because they’re still so aware a loved one isn’t there.
“You can buy a book for the library or a gift for a Christmas hamper; you can do all the memorial things, but it doesn’t fill that empty hole.”
Martin welcomes calls about The Compassion-
ate Friends at 250-395-4417.
